Photo of the week: Scott Avetts 'self'

Photo of the week: Scott Avetts 'self'
Awesome painting by a god!

Cakir: A Modern Day War (craft) Story

The sheer joy of laying shit on a friend via a story fills me with joy :P


Part One


The Doctor


----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


All his waiting was over, the Doctor had returned to his office with an a4 sheet of paper. Devrim looked on in a rather impatient manner. He was eager to find out what damage was done to his finger. And, more importantly, how much he could sue Connor for. The Doctor pulled out his chair from underneath the desk and sat next to Devrim. His face ... See Moreremained rather expressionless, which in Devrims mind, was all the more confusing! 'So Doc, what's the damage?' Devrim said profoundly. He was not a person who was typically scared of a cut or bruise. The Doctor straighened his sheet of paper and began silently reading it to himself, his lips masking each word soundly. He then put the paper down upon the desk and looked up to Devrim, who had been watching his every move. 'Well Mr. Cakir, it appears you have ruptured your nerdius sheemus'. The expressionless Cakir replied 'My whatty'? The Doctor shook his head as if he was shocked at what Devrim had said. 'Mr. Cakir, your Nerdius Sheemus is the nerve which connects your index finger to your brain. It has been hurt to the extent that your reaction time with your right index finger will be heavily delayed. This is a permanent injury Mr. Cakir, I am sorry'. Devrims jaw dropped, it was almost as if a cannon ball had been shoved down his throat and sunk heavily into his gut. He felt lower than he had ever felt before. 'Bu...but Doctor... I need to run an instance tonight on WoW! This is 'life of death' man!!! There must be something I can do to safe my team and conquer the instance! Please doc, I'm beggen yah'! As Devrim finished speaking, the Doctor smirked. 'Your gaming days are over kid. BAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHA'


Too be continued.

Friday, February 26, 2010

twenty-sixth of the second: How far is too far?


Hello world,

Because of my bastard computer problems, I have to keep today's blog short and sweet.
Woah, what a week. Soundwave last Saturday was amazing, saw some epic bands. I will be doing a brief of each band I saw and how they performed etc some time next week.

I wont lie, this week has had its ups and downs, many sad moments I assure you. Which sucks yes, but as Charmaine (one of the close friends) says, 'Jordan, be strong!' and because she's bossy, I comply :) lol.

I was quite compelled to do the blog tonight for I have just bared witness to a video posted by nine msn... it is what sparked an anger inside me, then obviously leading to be my topic of the day.

The video featured a Seaworld trainer feeding a killer whale... thats fine right? Well, it is a video of moments before the whale drags the trainer down and kills her... Seriously, this is a video posted by a 'trusty news site'... They have allowed the world to see an innocent human being moments before she is brutally killed by a whale... And my friends, watching it sent utter chills down my spine and frankly made me feel quite sick. They have no right to post something like that! Think of the girl, her friends, her family... allowing a video of their friend and daughter to be posted on the net moments before the very whale in the video sends her to a untimely death. IT IS SICK!
I would like to formally say to those who posted this video that may you all be shunned for the pathetic low life's you are! May your friends and families look at you with disgust knowing you have just shown a poor girl to the world moments before she was killed.

And for what?
Not because you feel sorry for the girl and her friends and family who will now have to accept life without her, but to pull the god-forsaken ratings of nine msn! You selfish fuck heads!!!!!!!
Maybe its time for you all to take time to think about the people you are affecting and how people may feel after seeing this spine-tingling video... All this to pull the ratings of your 4th rate news website?

I wont speak about this utter pathetic nature of journalists any more. Time to move on I guess, but don't worry, Nine Msn are getting an email from one Jordan Danger Merrick!

Sorry to rave on then, but it needs to be said and heard how pathetic journalists and news corporations truly are!


Okay, now for the 'better' stuff.

Moment of the day:

Today, at the trusty ol' bus stop I was waiting for my work bus around 11:30 am and what do I see? A 40 odd year old man, dressed in a business suit with pink runners on... RAPPING! He was 'SHIT YOU NOT' Rapping to some random song. It was hilarious... I didn't even notice it at first for I had my i-pod on. I could see him talking to himself and I was like 'whaa?' so paused and then I heard him rapping along like a...a...a... Rapper! :)


Quote of the day: "Fire Laser Pants at will!"

:) God I love that quote so thought I'd share it with you all :)
It comes from a hidden track on one of 'the avett brothers' albums... they randomly start singing about laser pants and shooting them.
"Sitting in my lazy boy putting on my laser pants. Look over to the cupboard with a LASER GLANCE!" haha :)... well I love it anyways!!! losers! :)

Song of the day: Wagon Wheel- Old Crow Medicine Show
This song is a take of a Bob Dylan song in a much more traditional/folk sense. It is great if your into that genre, but honestly is enjoyable for all.
The use of the violin in this song is quite epic!

Movie of the week: The Proposition (2005)
This is a western movie set in Australia... now now kids, I know you all hate westerns, but guys, this is something extreme and not for the weak hearted. It hits every emotion in the book [not really, that just sounds cool ;)] and portrays the story excellently. The scenery in this movie is somewhat magnificent and that alone is reason enough to see this movie.

BUT

if that didn't convince you, then maybe this will. It was written by none other, then Australian singer/songwriter/poet/writer/sex god Nick Cave!!!!


Lastly, I thought I'd keep an epic surprise to end the blog with a bang... it goes like this.

Jordan: Hey guys, what are you doing this weekend?
You guys: Why nothing Jordan Danger, what are you doing?
Jordan: Nothing either, want to hang out?
You guys: Why Jordan Danger, We'd love to!
Jordan: That sounds great...oh wait sorry I can't... I'll be too busy seeing AC-FUCKING-LIGHTNING BOLT-DC and WOLFMOTHER!!!!!!!!!!!!
You guys: You *$*$**&#&*#*#&*#*#Hole (##(#((#*&#*&#*#*&#^You(#*#&@*@*@^#&^Fucking*@**$&$$*&* FUck!

:D

Thats right! I'm going to see AC/DC and Wolfmother tomorrow night! It will be amazing, I will let you all know how it goes.

Thank you for reading world,

Many warm regards,

Jordan Danger Merrick

<3

Monday, February 15, 2010

fifteenth of the second: Fare yee wells and hi fives


Hello world,

Sorry for going absent for a while there, you would not believe what a busy week I have had! I got called into work for two extra shifts which was good, get extra $$$ I am always happy to do. Then the weekend arrived. What can I say, it was FUCKING FANTASTIC!!!! Saturday was Chiaras going away party, which was 10/10. Had a few glasses of ale... just a few don't worry :D. Sunday was also fabulous. Spent the majority of the day recovering from Saturday, then at 7:30 I went on Charmaines (friend of mine) Single friends valentines dinner. Were we had Italian and I met a whole new bunch of people. They were an epic bunch I'll tell ya that! The most unromantic valentines I have had in a while lol, but thats exactly what made it so epic.

A close friend of mine (chiara) is moving back to Italy for a few months. I have not known her for that long, but she is a gem and a lovely lady who I enjoy spending time with. And in the time I have known her, I have met so many people and done so many things that I would never of done without her. Thank you Chiara, I will miss you dearly and when you return, it will be like you never lef

Enough about my epic weekend, it is time to go onto the various things that make this blog worth reading.


Starting with the 'serious' stuff

Topic of the day: Valentines day.

Yes, I thought I would take the chance to deconstruct valentines day and see if it really is all about 'love' Dude. Valentines day was established in AD 496 by Pope Genesis I. It was made to express love between intimate companions.
Intimate companions? Last time I checked the generations of today treat it as a "Day I must get a rose or I'll cry!!" Indeed this is true, not to offend those like that... hey, I was like that too until I read up on the actual day!

Now, the question is, who completely sold out Valentines day to make it all about gifts gifts gifts to make a HUGE profit? *hears the women reading this yell out 'A male!'* well, us males are assholes who do like to sell out holy holidays... but not in this case. Us males were like "God, not ANOTHER day to buy women gifts!" I'm joking :) I love spoiling women! Never mind that, it was made a public 'buy-fest' by a lady named Esther Howland. in 1847 She produced 'valentines cards' based on British models. She was an American woman, turning the simple English tradition of 'making your lovers a card' into mass production, thus turning the great holiday full of love into nothing but a 'HALLMARK HOLIDAY!'

In conclusion, this was a great idea for a holiday. It was meant to be about love and expressing that love to your partner. Now it is an EXPECTATION to receive a card or rose on this day, completely killing most of the meaning and bringing out greed in a world that is greedy enough as it is!

I don't mean to shut down the idea of Valentines day completely, I know there are still people who celebrate this tradition properly. To those who do, double thumbs up man!

Onto the fun stuff :D

WTF Moment of the WEEK!:

This moment, was similar to what happened that faithful night at the bus stop... no its not another Cowboy...
The other day, around 4:30 PM, I was waiting for my bus to work. I was sitting there, minding my own business when this seedy fella comes up to me and asks "Dude do you have a cigarette"? And I replied "Sorry mate, Don't smoke" Just being honest... and he replied "Oh fuck you C*NT!!" You'd think I'd be more shocked, but after all, it is South Port... the shocking part came next...
This guy who asked me for a cigarette was around my age, and slurred his words and stunk of weed and other ungodly odors. He walked around the bus stop and eventually sat on the stool infront of me, next to a lady. He asked her for a lighter (which she gives to him) and he pulls out a FULL packet of cigarettes... hmmm... oh, it gets better. His 'Friend' walks up and sits next to him... also smelt terrible and just the site of him spelled "Hi, I'm a drug addict who likes long walks on the beach, sunsets and FUCKING SWEARING BRAH!!!!!" He sat down and said to his friend...well said isn't the word to describe how he spoke...he YELLED to his friend (who looked to weigh around 50 kilos, very skinny guy)"MOVE OVER YOU FAT C*NT...C*NT...C*NT...FAT FUCKING FUCK C*NT...FUCK....C*NT...FAT...C*NT!" The entire bus stop stared at them, then the skinny one who told me to fuck of earlier turned around and looked at me, and said "hey bro im steve" and extended his hand wanting to shake... he didn't remember me from just two minutes prior? Douche... so I was polite and shook his hand. He then turned away and him and his friend got up and run accross the road for no apparent reason...dodging nothing too big...just a BIG FUCKING YELLOW BUS!... crazy mo fos, I mean... WTF?

Quote of the day: "If your joking... I will calmly walk to your house, slit your throat and bathe in your blood whilst singing Cradle of Filth"

Who in their right mind would say that? My best friend of course! Mr. Bryce Doyle spoke these solm words when I told him (me being the nice guy that I am) I bought him a SOUNDWAVE TICKET!!!!!!!!! God I am nice! He was so so happy, because he would be a complete loner while me and his girl friend go to soundwave. makes perfect sense right? Me and my best mates gf go to a concert together... yeah, perfectly normal :D.

Was a very funny moment on the phone last night, One day I will record one of his random lines... eventually making it into a cd

It would be called "Bryce Doyles pick up lines"

:D


A gaze into the future: FUCK YES SOUNDWAVE!!!!!

I Just got offered two tickets to soundwave to buy which I obviously did! It will be amazing!!!!! Just thought I'd let everyone who doesn't have a ticket know so they can be jealous. :D

Well, that is the end of todays chapter into the life of Jordan Danger Merrick.

I would love to hear some feedback guys so please leave comments in the provided area or leave comments on facebook. If there is any topic you would like to see me cover, then let me know!

Thank you all for reading, and in the words of Arnald Swatzahh

"I'll be back mo fuckah!"

Many warm regards,

Jordan Danger Merrick

Monday, February 8, 2010

eighth of the second: The real Wild West


Hello world,

It has been one hell of an interesting day from the very get go. I promise you, it is worth the read tonight my friends.

Firstly, I will start of with the outlook of my day: I woke up at 7 in the morning so I could get zaraffas before school, which in my books is dedication considering the earliest I ever get up is 8:10. i have the alarm set to prove it ;). Then after school was said and done, I was called into work and what a busy night that was, hitting a total of 69 people...oh, that is shit for all who can't hear my sarcasm. On a normal mondie (bad spelling of Monday is for Bryce) night is around 169 people so you can see why I was quite the bored chap all night. The best parts came later I assure you, but they were so !!!!EPIC!!!! that they got nominated for other parts of my blog. Moving on :)


WTF Moment/Topic of the day: As I was gearing up for bed last night, I went down stairs to say goodnight to my mum. We had our usual 5-10 minute chat before bed, but before I went up stairs and snuggled into my blanky, I peered at the tv and there I saw it! "The Thin Red Line" was on, it is one of my 5 movies I must see this year so what did I do? Sat down and watched it. It was a two hour film and finished at 2 am, understand why I got up to go to zaraffas now? :D. Don't worry kids, that wasn't either the moment or topic... That comes now.

Since the movie was on channel 10, as you'd expect, I was flagged with adds. Grrr those damn adds... just as I thought they were so gayishly lame... I saw it! The new tiny teddies add. Now, before you jump to conclusion and think "Tiny Teddies? God Jordan your blogs fucking shit!" let me finish my tale. The add consists of three tiny teddies dancing: 1 was the original flavour doing generic dancing in no cloths with a little kid in generic cloths also doing generic dancing (generic is the only word to describe it!) then came the choc chip tiny teddy, he was doing disco, also no cloths with a kid in disco cloths also dancing... then came the chocolate tiny teddy. He was darker then the average chocolate tiny teddy and had a bandanna on his head. He was doing breakdancing to terrible hip hop music with a black kid in fully pimped gangster cloths also a bandanna doing the same dancing...

I'm not sure what you all think, but to me that is "WHAT THE FUCK! FUCKING RACISTS!!" Honestly, what a stereotype that was! They say that white people dance normally and dress normal, whilst the blacks dance crazily and wear bad clothes???

1. That is totally unacceptable on television
2. It downgrades the high majority of Dark skinned persons
3. What the Fuck! Tiny Teddies dancing?
4. This stereotyping needs to be stopped!

I chose this as my topic of the day to show how easily people can be manipulated into judging people by labeling them with certain stereotypes. I admit, there are some funny ones out there, but if used in good humor, it is fine; but when used in advertisements, which are exposed to millions each day start to put ideas into peoples heads. That is what they are aiming for after all. They wanted to get people thinking about Tiny Teddies and how nice they are, but by doing this they have disregarded certain stereotypes, causing the chocolate tiny teddy (dark skinned persons) to be looked at as completely different from the whites, and by assigning certain cloths to the child dancing, it depicts him a poor, unhygienic and lesser then the whites. This my friends is NOT TRUE!! We are all equals living on this earth. No matter what your opinions may be, this is a cold hard fact. and If you don't think we are equal, then don't read my blogs because I am all for equality.

Good to get that out in the open, I am hoping that anyone who reads this posts a comment on the topic either on the blog page or on my facebook. Either way, I'd love to hear your thoughts. Even if its "Jordan, its an add, fuck u" or "Jordan, your right, it needs to stop!" I don't mind, but the more people talking about it, the better I say :)

Moving on to the Moment of the day

Moment of the day:

Tonight after work, I got to the bus stop at 7:15, exactly an hour before my bus home came so I decided to sit back on the uncomfortable wooden chairs and relax as much as possible... but for all those who know what mysteries the Gold Coast holds, then I was in for a FUCKEDDD UP NIGHT! Here's how it panned out:

7:15 arrived at the bus stop... ooh exciting isn't it

7:30 I am approached by a guy dressed as nothing other then a COWBOY! That's right, a real life 'drunk of his ass' Cowboy. He approached me and said "Howdy" I just store and said "hi?" Yes, my 'hi' sounded like a question. He then pointed his fingers at me like 'hand guns' and shouted 'bang your dead' and walked away... Seriously, this happened...

7:45 I am approached by this seedy looking guy, I wasn't sure if it was a compadre of the Cowboys, or just another of the Gold Coasts finest folk. Well... he was NO Cowboy... his exact words were "hey bro, you got any duff duff, weed or beetlejuice I can buy?" and I replied in a cool and calm fashion "No, fresh out mate sorry" He looked sad and walked away. Owned? lol

7:55 I was ease dropping on the girls sitting behind me's conversation with her friends. Well... it was hard not to ease drop when she is yelling on the top of her lungs "Oh god! I haven't had my fucking period in three fucking weeks so I'm either fucking pregnant or had a fucking miss fucking carriage!..... Excuse me, do you have change for the bus?" I was seriously like WTF this shit is fucked up... I miss the Cowboy! Anywho I just said "no sorry, only have my go card" and she was like "oh fuck of" and walked away....

8:15 I got on the bus and hid for dear life!

What a crazy night! It easily earned the moment of the day.

Now, the imfamous "Quote of the day!"

"Oh what bad breath you have!"

Simple yet effective huh? :) This gets the quote of the day, because my sister (the artist that she is) drew an entire scene on my toilet role (which I use for tissues get over it) of a chef feeding his dog a piece of meet. The photo attached is a picture I snapped of it just now. The sad thing is, she is 20!!!! haha She is a legend though, I am lucky to have people like my sisters in my life, epic people who I can always rely on... oh, and Ben, your cool to :) (haha joking Ben, your up there with the sisters) (Ben=brother)

Well, once again my blog draws to a close and I thank you all for reading.

I have decided that one blog every two/three days will be enough for you lot, unless I am popular on demand ;) *hint hint nudge nudge* lol

many warm regards,

Jordan Danger Merrick

Saturday, February 6, 2010

fifth of the second: A short day


Hello world,

Today was quite a bludge, I woke up this morning (well, if you count 1:30 pm as morning) and felt ill. Just my luck, go through school feeling fine, then on my weekend I have to feel sick (Y). Anywho, I spoke to my manager and he told me I can have the night of so I feel better. Loved? :D

So far, I spent the entire day lying down and watched a classic film by the title of "For a Few Dollars More". It is seriously a work of art and one of the best Westerns ever made. The director, Sergio Leon was a film revolutionary. All you have to do is watch one of his films (6 in total before he passed on) and you will understand why.

About 3/4 through the film, I ducked down to the shops with my lovely mother to get some supplies for the coming week. We got there around 5:30 pm after we had called Coles (shopping center) and they told us their open till 6. We get out the front, only to see it barred shut and the security guy telling us the store is closed and their locking it up. Truly annoying when that happens. So I went down to the greatest shop in the world "Zaraffas" and got an epic English Breakfast tea. :D
It then began pouring down rain so we had to spend money on a cab home... bibi sweet 10 dollar note, I'll miss thou.

Now, I am home, relaxed and ready to write my blog for the day :)

My issue for the day is the ever-growing competition between big and small businesses. I don't have much experience all round with this topic, but have been able to learn allot about the competition between small and big businesses in the restaurant side of things.

Small restaurant chains- from what I have seen, they aim and strive to make an impact upon first opening, offering unique meals and good pricing to give any big restaurant chain a run for its money. This is, of course a great ambition to have but it is vital to pick your opponents wisely. I have seen a few small steak houses attempt to take on the big businesses like Hogs Breath and Lone Star, only to fail miserably. I believe their reasons for failure is because their taking on companies who specialize in Steak and Ribs. Now, steak is a market that is hard to penetrate in because of companies like the ones I mentioned. The only real way for a small business to compete with these sorts of things is to:

. Aim high, aspire to sell the brand out as a franchise to get better known and earn more revenue for your products name

. Offer things in your restaurant that have never been seen before

. Keep prices at a steady price, but not low enough to not make enough revenue

. Be very weary on who your going up against

. Keep a close eye on what meals/specials your opponents are offering

. Give people a reason to come back

Big restaurant chains- These big guns have obviously developed themselves as forces to be reckoned with. They generally have the financial backing to overthrow any small business with a few swift moves. As I mentioned above, the big restaurant chains are in no need to really worry about the small chains, but never the less, need to take certain precautions to prevent any sort of threat from small business chains.

. Be weary of the small businesses specials and pricing of meals

. Keep up the name of your products

. Give people a reason to come back

Yes, I know they are basically the same points for the small restaurant chains, but generally those aspects don't need to change.

On a final note; in my personal opinion, customer service is the key to making a consumer say "This was a fucking great night, I will definitely come back, thank you so much for your services". That along with keeping your value for money and you got yourselves a good restaurant.


Well, hope the topic of the day didn't bore you too much, now on to the fun stuff :)


Quote of the day: My Chemical Romance canceled their Australian tour, poor emo girls.
I know this comment wont make sense to most of you, but were I live (The Gold Coast) all the young teenagers who so happily label themselves as 'scene' or 'emo' constantly rave about the band My Chemical Romance. It is hilarious to see their reactions. Too be more vivid, I have attached a picture of what their general reactions are to this 'sad' news. LOL :)
I don't mean it in any offense, but it made me and my mates laugh :D

Moment of the day: Today, as I mentioned earlier I was at the shops. Whilst there, I walked to the Service Station to buy some doritos (fuck I love doritos :D ) and a transvestite was working there. Now, I am one with a very open mind to everything, I don't have anything against gays, lesbians or transvestites so don't think of this being an attack upon them. As I approached the counter, I was really unsure how to handle the transaction, I am one to start conversations with the counter assistance so wasn't sure to say "Have a good day mate, or have a good day mam". But as I was talking to her/him it was interesting and upon leaving I ended up saying "Have a good one friend" LOL friend? Why did I say friend? seriously what!

Well, once again I thank you all for reading, although I don't think many people have or will. But if you do, I'd love for you to leave a comment down the bottom of the page to hear what you think and maybe some topics I can cover on my blog.

If you don't have an account, then you can comment via facebook


Many warm warm WARRRMMM Regards,

Jordan Danger Merrick

Thursday, February 4, 2010

fourth of the second: A new beginning

Hello world of bloggers and welcome to the first of many blogs I shall do.

My name is Jordan Danger Merrick... Yes, Danger is my middle name and I love it!
At first I was a bit hesitant on doing an online blog for I was not sure what to share in it. I'm just a regular person living in a crazy little world so I wasn't sure people would bother reading what I had to say. But then again, blogs are here for us humans to express ourselves and post whatever we want. Isn't that great? :)

In my blogs, I am hoping to add both entertaining and serious; that way, you can get a good incite of who Jordan Danger Merrick is.

Well to start, I will tell you a bit about myself:

. I am 16, 17 on March the 18th which should be a fantastic weekend which I intend to spend with family and friends. I am from the great place called the Gold Coast, Queensland, Australia

. My hobbies consist of writing stories, lyrics and poems, listening to music and of course, my numero uno; playing my guitar. I have been playing for a bit over 3 years and have been doing the 'band' thing for around the same amount of time. It is the highlight of my hobby-life :)

. I work at Hogs Breath Cafe, been there 8 months now. It has had its ups and downs but I primarily enjoy it and the people I work with. I am currently doing a cert 2 in hospitality operations with them also, which is coming along nicely. Should be doing my cert 4 in the next few coming months

. Most other things you need to know, you will find out in the coming blogs.

Now that I have got that out, I can start with my first and ANNUAL:

Quote of the day: "Well that's like your opinion man."

Yes, the classic line from the movie "The Big Lebowskie" Which has somewhat found it's way into my life today. Definitely worth using in any convo ;)

'What the Fuck' moment of the week:

A few days ago, I was at the local shops and needed to pee, so I went to the public toilets and did my business. As I was "syphoning the python ;)" I could here the guy in the cubical next to me MASTURBATING!!!! Honestly, WHAT THE FUCK!!!

Movie of the week: 'Once upon a time in the West'.

An all out classic film by Sergio Leon. It stars Charles Bronson, a fantastic actor of the time. It is a western yes, but it has one fantastic story behind it. Definitely worth checking out.

Song of the week: The Girl- City and Colour.

"The Girl" is a song I recently discovered and it is brilliant. It is an acoustic song by artist Dallas Green, or as his solo project is called 'City and Colour'. Definitely worth checking out my friends.

Now I bet your all thinking "Well, thats like your opinion man" and Damn right it is! It's my blog aint it?

Well, I will stop wasting your time for the day, and I thank you all for reading my first and annual blog :)

Many warm regards,



Jordan Danger Merrick